


The Sheriff One-Shots

by robinwritesallthethings



Category: Dead & Breakfast (2004)
Genre: F/M, Family, Fluff, Language, Multi, One-Shot, Oral Sex, Reader-Insert, Romance, Self-Insert, Smut, Spanking, Stripping, Threesome, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-01-31 03:15:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12667104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robinwritesallthethings/pseuds/robinwritesallthethings
Summary: A collection of one-shots starring The Sheriff, Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s character inDead & Breakfast. Stories are listed in alphabetical order. Explicit stories are marked in the notes.





	1. Christmas Wheels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imagine The Sheriff being jealous that you’re spending time with other people in town when you’ve really enlisted them to help you hide his Christmas present, a new truck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter features a female reader.

You wake up in the middle of the night to find Sheriff sitting on the edge of the bed with his back to you. You smile and roll over, running your hand over his bare skin.

“Too excited about Christmas presents to sleep?” you tease.

He shrugs. When he turns his head, you can see that he’s crying.

You sit up and snuggle into his side, putting your arm around him. “Hey, Sheriff,” you whisper soothingly. “What’s wrong?”

He sighs and sniffles. “Are you… tired of me?” he asks heavily.

“Tired of you? Of course not. Why would you ask me something like that?”

“It… it just seems like you’ve been spending time with everyone but me lately.”

You kiss his shoulder. “Get your clothes on and come outside with me,” you request.

Parked next to the station is a shiny dark green truck with a huge red bow on it. His eyes get wide and he looks at you in surprise.

“For me?” he wonders.

You laugh. “For who else? It’s been hard to hide from you. I needed everyone’s help to do it.”

He looks at you sheepishly. “And I thought the worst of you,” he mumbles. “Aw, shucks, honey. I’m sorry.”

You stand on your tiptoes and kiss his nose. “No apology necessary.” He pulls you close and you put your arms around his neck. “I don’t need anyone but you, Sheriff. I love you.”

“I love you too, baby,” he murmurs. “Thank you so much. And Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” you answer.

Then he kisses you.


	2. Fumes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imagine being the new town mechanic and fixing The Sheriff’s truck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter features a female reader.

“Hello?” A man in a cowboy hat slowly walks into the garage, looking around curiously.

You wave from behind the raised trunk of the car you’re working on. “Over here!”

You screw the radiator cap back into place and then step out to greet your new customer.

Words get stuck in your throat for a moment as you see how handsome he is. When you finally speak, what comes out is, “Well, aren’t you a tall drink of water?”

The man blushes and rubs the back of his neck as he scuffs his boot against the floor. “Aw, shucks. Thanks, I suppose.”

“Sorry,” you apologize immediately, shaking your head. “That was… so inappropriate of me.” You laugh nervously, embarrassed that you were so forward. “Uh, would you believe me if I said it was too many exhaust fumes?”

He chuckles. “Sure, I’ll buy that.”

“You’re a true gentleman,” you giggle. “Did you need that looked at?” you ask, nodding at the truck behind him.

“Yeah. The fans, I think, are running when they shouldn’t be?”

“Sounds like your cooling system,” you tell him. “I probably have the parts here to fix it. Drive it on in and I’ll check it out.”

He obeys, watching with interest as you do a quick examination and a few tests before nodding. “Yup, that was the problem. Otherwise, it’s in good shape. You take good care of it.”

He smiles. “Good to keep it in working order, considering how out of the way we are here. I only know basic stuff, though. Nothing too complicated.”

“Well, I could teach you if you like,” you offer. “Drop by anytime.”

“I’d like that,” he admits.

Before long, you’ve got him all ready to go again. He thanks you and pays you, but then he lingers by the counter for a moment.

“Maybe I can buy you dinner?” he suggests shyly. “To say thank you?”

You grin. “You paid me,” you point out. “You don’t have to thank me.”

“Oh. Right. Well, um…”

You reach across the counter and grab his hand before he can leave. “I’d love to have dinner with you,” you say softly and sincerely.

He beams at you. “You close at seven, right? I’ll pick you up then?”

“It’s a date.” You wink and he nods.

“Yeah,” he muses happily. “It’s a date.”


	3. Lap Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin’s best friend Kat gets her a very special birthday present.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is explicit and features an original female character.

My best friend Kat pushes me down into the chair in the center of the bar and I gulp nervously. “This is a bad idea,” I squeak.

“Getting you laid is not a bad idea,” she retorts, hanging onto my shoulders to make sure I stay put.

“This is not getting me laid, Kat,” I object. “You hired a stripper to give me a lap dance.”

“Well. I may not have told you the entire truth when I said he was a stripper,” she hedges.

My head snaps up and I try to catch her eyes, but she steadfastly avoids mine.

“Kat!” I whine. “What did you do?”

“Relax. He’s an escort. I bought him for you. For the whole night. He’ll do whatever you want.”

I sputter in protest, but she cuts me off. “Pop that cherry, honey. Trust me, you’ll want to. I made sure he’s your type.”

She nods at the door. “Here he is now.”

I glance up anxiously as my… date… walks into the bar. He’s greeted by cheering from the crowd; I don’t even recognize half of the people Kat invited, but they all seem to be in on my humiliation.

I will never ever tell Kat this, but I have to give her some credit.

He is definitely my type.

He’s tall and husky, toned but not too muscular. His dark brown hair is just a little too long and curls at the nape of his neck. His neat beard is the same color.

So is all of his body hair, which I can see thanks to his absolutely ridiculous outfit.

He’s wearing a white cowboy hat, a denim vest with a fake sheriff’s star pinned to it, a white thong, black leather chaps, and white cowboy boots.

This is going to be more embarrassing than I thought.

He walks in my direction slowly. Kat finally lets go of me and moves to the side of the room with the rest of the guests.

There are spurs on his boots; they spin and clink as he sidles over. I try to look anywhere except his crotch; the thong leaves nothing to the imagination, and he’s obviously well-endowed.

He grins at me and I blush fiercely. He has perfectly straight, blindingly white teeth and gorgeous dimples.

When he leans down in front of me, I can see that his eyes are a beautiful shade of hazel.

“Howdy there, sweetheart,” he drawls. I actually whimper, so he takes my hand and kisses it gallantly. “Aw, don’t be worried. I know your friends got me for you as a surprise. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to.”

I blink. “You won’t?” I ask quietly.

“Nope,” he says casually, tilting his head. “They want me to dance for you,” he observes. “Is that okay?”

“Are you going to be, um, well… sexy or whatever?”

“I hope so,” he teases. “That is my job.”

“Okay,” I relent. I’ll never hear the end of it from Kat if I say no, and if I’m being entirely honest, I’m curious.

“Yeah? All right, then. You just sit back and let me do all the work.” He takes his hat off and puts it on my head before going to the jukebox.

My eyes get wide as I realize that practically his entire ass is exposed.

Everyone gets quiet as he chooses a song and waits for it to start.

When it does, he begins swaying his hips and dragging his hands up his sides.

Damn, the man can move.

He flings his arms up into the air, sauntering back to me in time with the music.

I can’t take my eyes off of him.

As he comes up behind me, he takes his hat from my head and tosses it to Kat, who catches it excitedly. He ruffles my hair and gives me a sweet smile before walking in front of my chair with his back facing me.

My stomach does a flip when he squats, rolling his hips and ass sensually, looking back at me over his shoulder and winking as he squeezes his thigh teasingly before turning around.

He unbuttons his vest as he dances in front of me. It’s impossible not to notice him bouncing; I’m surprised he’s even staying in his clothes.

He throws his vest to a random someone in the audience, then drops to his hands and knees and starts to slowly crawl to me. I cover my face with my hands, my cheeks burning, looking at him shyly.

He smirks as he reaches me, swinging his head between my legs. His soft, warm hair brushes my bare thighs; now I know why Kat insisted that I wear short shorts. I can’t hide the shiver that runs up my spine at the light contact.

He runs his hands up my body, sliding them over my shoulders underneath my thin cardigan. His nose actually touches mine as his palms skim over my breasts and down my stomach.

He puts his boot on the chair right between my legs, leaning forward as if he’s going to kiss me and pulling back at the last minute to dance some more, waving his hands above his head.

I moan softly. He smiles, putting his foot back on the floor and turning, shaking his ass closer and closer until it’s touching my hips. He gyrates and I swallow hard as he lays back against my shoulder, sinking his other hand into my hair.

His fingers twine around mine and he guides them over his torso. His skin is hot and just a little sweaty; his body hair is slightly damp. He keeps rolling his hips against me, turning his head and looking into my eyes.

I know he can feel how I’m reacting to him. My nipples are hard and straining against my flimsy t-shirt, and my thighs are quivering.

I keep thinking that I should not be this turned on by a stranger, much less one who was hired to pretend he likes me for an evening.

But at this moment, I couldn’t care less.

The music gets faster and he straightens up, rotating in time with the beat. I keep my hands on his hips, feeling him slide against me, my eyes glued to his ass.

When the song lulls, he bends at the waist until his palm is flat on the floor.

Before I can stop myself, I give his bottom a resounding smack.

The crowd goes wild as he snaps back up, pacing in a circle, still dancing sensually. He blows me a kiss when he looks at me again, laughing happily as he comes back.

This time, he puts his leg over my thighs and sits in my lap, arching his back and letting his head hang down until it almost touches the floor. He slowly comes back up as the song ends, cupping my cheek in his hand and leaning in to kiss me.

I let him, sighing eagerly against his lips as he shifts himself so he’s standing with his arms on the chair. When he finally breaks the kiss, I open my eyes, shocked at myself for being so brazen.

Kat, on the other hand, is freaking out. I can hear her yelling even over the din of the party.

He glances down between his legs sheepishly. “Maybe we should take this somewhere more private, sweetheart.”

I pull him back to me and kiss him again, beyond caring what anybody thinks.

“Okay.”

****

When I wake up the next morning, he’s gone.

His sheriff star is on the nightstand, and there’s a note underneath it.

_I had a really great time last night. I think you’re sweet and funny and smart. Call me?_

His phone number is printed neatly at the bottom of the scrap of paper.

That night, we go out for coffee. We talk for hours, and when he walks me home, he kisses my cheek. When I shyly ask him to come in, he smiles and tells me he wants to wait until we know each other better before we sleep together again.

I think that’s adorable, so I say yes.

He still comes in, but we just talk more.

We’ve known each other for a month when he officially requests that I be his girlfriend. I tease him a little, but I think it’s really cute.

I say yes again, and he tells me that he’s not going to be an escort anymore because he only wants to be with me.

We’ve known each other for six weeks when I realize that I’m pregnant. We had planned a romantic evening in and were finally going to have sex again.

I cry as I tell him. I can’t help being afraid, even though I know he’s a good man.

But his face lights up with excitement.

He takes me in his arms and kisses me until I’m breathless, then he gets down on one knee and asks me to marry him.

Unsurprisingly, I say yes.

****

My daughter’s mouth hangs open as I finish my story.

“You told me Dad was a sheriff when you met,” she finally sputters.

“Sheriff of Pound Town,” I reflect.

“Gross, Mom!”

“Don’t make fun,” I retort lightly, sipping my coffee gleefully.

“Yeah,” Kat quips. “If I hadn’t bought your mom an escort, you never would have been born.”

“Thanks for my existence, Aunt Kat, but that’s even grosser.”

I giggle. “You’re the one who asked how I lost my virginity.”

She shakes her head. “I can’t believe I came all the way home from college just to find out Dad used to be a hooker,” she sighs wistfully.

We all burst out laughing as the door opens and her father walks in. “Hey, Zoey!” he greets her cheerfully. “What’s so funny?”

“Mom is telling me how cute you used to look in a thong. Way to knock her up on the job, Dad.”

He has the good grace to look awkward as he runs his hand through his messy hair. “Well, shucks.” He winks at her playfully.

Zoey groans. “Ugh, you are both gross,” she decides. “I’m going to my room.”

As she vanishes down the hallway, I shrug. “I didn’t even have to make her. My baby’s so grown up,” I joke, wiping away a fake tear. He laughs and comes over to pull me close.

“I can’t believe you told her that story.”

“It’s way more fun than the one we used to tell her. Plus, she’s old enough to know the truth now.”

“I won’t argue with that,” he agrees, chuckling.

I put my arms around him and snuggle into his chest. “Thanks for getting me pregnant and spending the rest of your life with me,” I murmur. “I love you.”

“Aw,” he coos. “I love you too, sweetheart.”


	4. Sweet Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imagine getting double-teamed by The Sheriff and Henry Delarue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is explicit and features a female reader. Henry Delarue is Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s character in _The Salvation_.

Henry smacks your ass hard, pushing your legs further apart as he grips your hips and pulls you closer to him, thrusting faster. You moan around Sheriff’s cock as it slides in and out of your mouth, your hands curled tightly around his thighs. His gasps fill the room as he puts both hands on your head and pushes you down, making you take more of him.

You suck him noisily, groaning each time that Henry bottoms out inside you. He’s big and thick and fills you perfectly. You can feel your ass bouncing against his belly, and you don’t have to see him to know that his eyes are glued to it; he grunts every time you hear yourselves slap together.

You glance up at Sheriff. His head is thrown back and he’s panting desperately. “Close,” he whispers.

“Me too,” Henry rasps, his voice deep and rough.

You take Sheriff into your throat. At the same time, you start to ride Henry’s cock vigorously. You have no idea how you’re so coordinated; it’s like trying to pat your head and rub your stomach at the same time, but you’re doing it effortlessly.

Henry shouts ecstatically as he finds his release. Your own orgasm starts; when you sigh happily around Sheriff’s cock, he starts to come too. You swallow gently, sliding your hand to his heavy, full balls and massaging them, milking him dry.

All three of you slump, breathing erratically. Henry rubs your back soothingly as Sheriff combs your sweaty hair out of your face.

When he bends to kiss you, you wake up. Your heart’s pounding and your panties are damp.

“Holy shit,” you say to your dark, empty bedroom. After another moment, you grab your vibrator from the nightstand and snuggle back into your sheets.

If this is what’s going to happen when you watch movies before bed, you’re going to have to do it more often.


End file.
